Remembering you

The past reflects eternally between two mirrors - the bright mirror of words and deeds, and the dark one, full of things we didn't do or say.

Yesterday while going through my old emails, I came across one of the emails from a long lost friend. Though I am no longer in talking terms with that friend, but the emails triggered some memories!! Why did we stop talking, how we became friends, why we lost touch, why we never tried talking again, etc.


The email was a very simple one. Me apologizing for not talking properly on the phone because something happened in office and I was angry and irritated and didn't want anybody to be victim of my anger. But the poor guy has called up at the wrong time and all the anger was thrown on him. (Mind you things had already started going bad between us, so it was dual anger :P) And then my friend after hearing all the lashings replied in the sweetest possible way. He wrote that it was okay, he was used to receiving my anger at too many occasion. Yet another one wouldn't do any harm.


Somehow when I look back at things, why is it that I remember the happy memories rather than the sad ones. Even though the sad one are far more than the happy ones. The human mind plays such games with you, at times you understand them and at time you are just lost trying to decipher them. Then, the is another friend whenever I remember time spent with that friend, I always remember the sad memories. Even though the time spent in the second case was much more fun than the time I spent with the first friend. Yet I don't remember any of those fun moments. Why, I fail to understand?


Friendships are like glass, once broken they can never be joined again. Even a crack and it looses its appeal. This is what happened in both the cases. Friendship lost its appeal. Being in different cities we never tried too hard to keep in touch and the crack only increased. And, now we have other friend and no time to keep in touch.


Now, in life if I ever get a chance or have the courage to talk to these friends of mine, I would just like to tell my side of the story. But I know I never will because anything I say wouldn't make any difference as the crack shall always remain...

One withers, another grows.

"All the people you meet here have one thing to teach you." Eddie was skeptical. His fists stayed clenched. "What?" he said. "That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind."

There are so many things that happen in life and you at that moment do not realize why they happened. What was the reason? What was God's plan? But when you look back, you realize "yes, this is the reason!" Each choice you make just weaves your life. Ever thought what would have happened if you had chosen the other thing. How things would have been? Where you would have been? Certainly not the same place you are at, right now.

Each decision I have taken, each choice I have made till now has woven my life. Choices as small as choosing one question over another in an exam. These choices might look insignificant, but now seeing in hindsight I realize how important they were!! Choosing friends, breaking up with friends, every decision has shown me that my present life is my doing and I am happy the way things are at present.

There are choices I made, choices as small as not speaking up for what right for me, choices of not standing up for myself, choices of not fighting back, choices of giving up. But there have also been choices of asking questions, choices of how to answer some questions, choices of speaking up at the right moment. Some choice I made, might have been wrong. But over all, it's only because of the wrong choice that I learnt how to make the right ones. Now, I have come to believe that life is always a happy ending. And if the ending is not happy, then it not the end. (picture abhi baaki hai mere dost)

One withers, another grows.

-- I had a dream that I couldn't fulfill. But dreams like people, come and go. If you are not able to fulfill one dream another dream takes it place. And, until that new dream is fulfilled, the failure of the first dream haunts you. Maybe my desire to be where I always wanted to be, wasn't as strong as those who made it there. But now there is no looking back, I am going where I truly deserve to be.  

The initial quotes are from one of my favorite book "five people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom. I read this book when I was in one of the bad phases of my life. And this book gave me the courage to fight and learn the reason of my existence. 


my fav scene from the movie curious case of benjamin button


http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=vvrzATr4gaQ&feature=related

I am happy that I found you !!

All is burnt, all in flames!!
Yet another hour, yet another day, yet another year!
I need no sympathy,
I need no pity,
I don't want to hear the sadness in your voice.
the disappointment that I hear breaks me down.
Maybe i failed you, but i failed myself too.
Yet another hour, yet another day, yet another year!

I fake a smile, I fake a giggle, I fake a laughter,
But all the fakeness can be genuine too..
Yet another hour, yet another day, yet another year!

When the world looks down at you,
When you dreams are thwarted,
You don't need any sympathy,
You don't need any pity,
You don't need any sadness,
You just need a voice encouraging you.
Yet another hour, yet another day, yet another year!

I found my voice,
I found my voice in you.
I searched for it,
and I found it in you...