Adios 2009, Bienvenue 2010

Footfalls echo in the memory 

Down the passages, which we did not take. 

Towards the door we never opened.

Into a new spring with new hopes... 

So many things to ponder about this year, yet so many others which I would want to forget. This year was full of ups and downs. Some moments that just flew by, yet some other that just wouldn't pass. But in the end it's peace. Now its like a pure fragrant breeze.


I am thankful that this year happened the way it happened. I've learnt so many things. Understood the world better, Understood myself better!! And yes I did things I am proud of-- this year I started blogging, sketching and painting. I have met so many new people, have made a new set of amazing friends, yet kept my past friendships strong enough. 


What the next year would bring, I do not know. But I know next year would be an year of change. So many new events which I look forward to, yet I am a bit scared of. April, September, and December being some crucial months. How things turn out to be, we'll know by the end of next year-- same place, same time :). Till then I'll keep blogging, painting, sketching, prosecuting, drafting, reading... n above all dreaming, discovering, and exploring. 

Adios 2009, Bienvenue 2010!      

The little lamp

My little lamp,
be it a calm night or a stormy dawn,
my little lamp has shined on,
be it a breeze or a cyclone,
it has fluttered n sputtered but it has shined on,
It's seen so much,
and yet I've know that it would shine on,
So, why is it that it is dimming now,
where is it's warmth now,
when the weather is absolutely norm,
But deep down I know it would shine on...

(I know it doesn't rhyme too well, but then I'm no poetess. :P. I'm just an optimist, who will keep trying.)

Surgar and Spice and Everything Nice-- Murky Waters and A Full Bloom

Here's another one from the sugar and spice and everything nice series.

It's been a long time now, the new view is no longer new. Well, a lot has happened since the start of the new view.

The river has finally changed its course. A flood upstream has caused the water to turn murky. Its no longer crystal clear. I have no option but to leave the river. I am going to miss it. I used to love dipping my feet into the cold clear water. It used to refreshing. But now it makes my feet dirtier. Anyhow, everything happens for a reason, the flood upstream would only help the soil become more fertile.

The jungle besides the river is in full bloom. I see flowers blossoming in hues pink, red, blue, and orange. They look so beautiful, so invigorating. The fruits of the Chinese pine are more accessible now. A few other trees also give fruits now. There's ample of beauty and food around me.

Now, I sit and relax in the sweet warmth of the sun. Along with the warm sun, a cool wind blows. I have a feeling that a long spring awaits me.

"Sometimes it's best to let go."

My 23rd bday.

It was such a perfect bday, just the way i wanted to celebrate. 

before 27th eve-- a small get together with relatives had been planned. But due to some reason the plan got cancelled and not even a cake was bought. This was all because of my unenthusiastic response towards all the plans that were being made. I somehow didn't want anybody to even wish me on my bday. So the plan being cancelled was a blessing in disguise. 

27th eve-- dad said an uncle is coming n he is treating at Maurya Sherton. Wow. All excited we all got dressed up and went to Maurya. There we went to the roof top chinese restaurant "My humble house" which definitely wasn't humble!! Sat in a cozy corner, having a nice view of the road in front of Maurya coupled with dim lights and soothing music. Me n my sister clicked a hundred pics n every corner we could find :P Then had a totally yumm dinner with awesome desserts. Ahh the chocolate trio was sinful. Then had chinese tea and then uncle paid the bill n we were done :P

We said goodbye to uncle, thanked him for the dinner and headed towards india gate. It was so cold nad chilly there. walked for a while, enjoyed the cold and the headed back home. 

12:00am 28th Oct-- Cut the bday cake which incidently had only 2 candles, which was good because as it is nowdays i feel so old. Another bday celebration wasn't helping in overcoming these feelings :P (Mom n Dad tried so hard to hide the cake, but all because of my chantpanti nothing can ever be a surprise for me.)

After that a few calls came. Attended the calls and replied to the messages and then slept.

28th Oct 8:00 am : woke up. Mummy im feeling very hungry. Give me food give me food.

Had breakfast at abt 9:00 got ready an went to South Ex. There got a haircut and 2 books for myself (which i dont know when i going to read). A gift from myself to me. :)

Then went back home. Home had prepared a lavish lunch for us. Continent food which any day beats any 5 star. Each dish was delicious and so innovative. Thank you mom for the effort.

After that we all slept for a while. and then when we got up we went for a walk. I messaged some of my friends  who had forgotten to wish me to call me up n wish me. :P I'll make u wish by hook or by crook :)

Then, after per our initial plans for the evening we went to Leela Kempski for dinner. We were totally awed by the 5 star. Absolutely awesome decor, the best I've ever seen. There we had to meet another friend of Dad and his daughter n son-in-law. The hotel was as it is great the company was wonderful too. Loved each moment, we all were laughing all the time. Now these people had no idea that it was my bday and when they got to know that, they ordered a cake from the hotel itself. And when the hotel people got to know abt my bday they said the cake was on the house. Wow. That was great, a bit embarrassing too as i had to cut the cake amdist so many unknown people, but then who doesn't enjoy all the attention. Definitely not me. :P

With the dinner and the desserts over, we paid the bill, and said thanks to the hotel staff and uncle and his family. A perfect end for the day.

Wow wat a wonderful bday. :)     

The best part was all the surprises that kept happening. Also, unlike some of the previous years there wasn't a moment when I felt sad because someone hadn't wished me or things weren't going as per plan. It was all happy happy.

All my thanks to all the people who wished me. I was very surprised to know that so many people remembered my bday. Thanks a lot once again.

Like the wind...

Tere liye, 
Nayi hai zameen naya aasmaan
Likh de hawaaon mein koi nayi dastaan..
Tere liye,
Nayi hai zameen naya aasmaan
Likh de hawaaon mein koi nayi dastaan...


Life is calling, 
go run, jump, hop, skip, don't let it go...

Everyone Loves Roses

Everyone loves roses and when one gets it at the most unexpected time, then that rose is the most precious to you.

I've received some roses at the most unexpected times from my girl friends, and today (maybe) I was the one to give such a rose to a friend.

Me, Praj, n Nis had gone to the sector 14 market. We were just whiling away our time, roaming during office hours, discussing that office environment is so cool-- who the hell goes to the market for a stroll, just to pass time. It was just like college time where if u didnt feel like attending a lecture you could just bunk that lecture, the same way we bunked office today !! :P

Anyhow, while roaming, we came across a florist. Nis confided in us, that she had never received a rose. Now something had to be done, so after not much thought I bought 3 yellow roses. 3 and yellow have a reason. First of all the color was chosen to be yellow because I was going to give it to my friends. (I'm sure you must have guessed that.) Then, I asked Praj if he wanted one. From his face it was apparent that he wanted, but he said he didn't. Okay as you wish I thought. But still I bought 3 roses for Nis, Att, n Praj.

Nis was so happy after getting the roses that she took all three of them. And the smile it bought to her face was too cute and genuine. So happily after this little incident we went to the office.

In the office everyone got so excited after seeing the roses. Everyone said they wanted one. Everyone loves roses. Quickly all three roses were taken. Each person said they wanted it, they wanted it. But, no they were for Nis. Give them back to her!

Meanwhile, Att said "u didnt get one for me?? how could you do that!!"

"Oh! darling u want a yellow rose, I'll give u a red one. ;)"

"U'll give me 5 red roses n not three"

"Yes, baby I'll give you five."

But the whole time she was like, "u didn't give me one. You gave Nis, U didn't give me even one." She wouldn't listen to any reasoning I gave her. She is like this little spoilt kid who wants everything. But thats the cutest part of her, that if she wants something she'll tell you and not keep it on her heart. Somehow, I managed to convince her or did I!!

No, I wasn't able to convince her. Of course, I'll give her a rose if not five, and one to another one of my teammate who has never received a rose. That would be a nice surprise for her.

And, I hope all the roses I give to all my friends are the precious roses.

FYI-- I also love receiving roses. (even if it is a cliche to give roses when you meet someone)

Friends and Friendship

Author's Note: Each time I write something about my friends, which is usually bad, I end up getting a nice beating(figuratively) from my friends and I end up deleting the blog!! So I've decided this time I try writing something nice.

And I am totally out of words to describe what to write. Gosh!! can't I write something nice about my friends. lol!! sure I can... lemme think, lemme think... ... ... ... ... ... still thinking... ... ... ... ... ....

Well, first of all I would like to thank all my friends for sticking around through thick n thin. Maybe we don't talk that often, maybe we don't know what is happening in each others lives, but whenever I talk to other people I always ending up mentioning my friends and the great time we spent together. The diwar tapna, the pasta parties, the dance parties, the night ups, the gossiping, the fighting(the sonal n jassi's fight club), the impromptu plans etc etc. We had so much fun together.

Sometimes I find it so amazing that there are some people I know I would never talk to again and I still refer to them as friends. That is when I feel "friendship never ends." It never really does, no matter what. The good times spent together always takes precedence over the hurt felt at the time of parting. Memories always stay.

But now its time to make some new memories and take some new steps. Some new instances that I can put up in my blog!! :P

The happy, carefree Jassi is back after visiting the dark dungeons of her mind... and she is again ready to take on life...

nazar mat lagana... kala tikka(o)

buri nazar wale tera muh kala :P

Like the movies...

Why cant life be like a movie. Like the movie that starts with a somber note. A person in his lowest moments, struggling to come out of it. The person keeps struggling. And unlike real life, all the struggle pays. One hour into the movie, there is a high moment and everything is good after that. The person achieves whatever s/he has been wanting to achieve, finds his/her true love, and then it is all happy happy, heavenly bliss. (ahh!! so cute)

Free

Sitting on the stairs of Oxford bookstore yesterday, I lived a moment. In the shade of the building n the strong wind, I felt that the only moment that existed was now, right here and right now. And nothing apart from that existed. There was no baggage from past and no worries abt the future. I had totally forgotten everything. I was in a trance, hypnotized by the wind...

Parallel Worlds

I live in two different worlds.

The first world is the world where everyone is good. The purpose of everybody's life is to find love, to find happiness. There is no deceit, there are no betrayals, there are no false reasons. Everyone is what they show to be. What they are, they show. What they ain't, they never seem to be.

And the second is where, everything has a reason. A hidden n a dark meaning. Everybody's sole aim is to get back at the other person. They want to do better than him/her. Want and desires are there because they want what the other has got and not what they truly desire. Is their realness, their unreality or is their unrealness, their reality?

I don't know which world to believe. The first one looks too good to be real n the second one too scary to be true. I know there are all kinds of people, but what is their motive? Is it to find love or is it to pose...

Living alone

It's been 4 to 5 months that I have been living alone, with Mom visiting me every now n then and some arbit relatives coming over for a day or two. It's not that I have to do anything on my own. I have a cook, a helper bhaiya to take care of the house, and an Aayah who comes daily to do the cleaning. All in all I am living like a Princess. (I am a very spoilt kid, I know.)

Well, there can be another side to it to, one can think of it as a Princess kept in a tower. All by herself. Waiting for her prince charming to rescue her :P. But alas, I wouldn't let the Prince Charming to enter my house.

Anyways, there are some things I simply love about living alone:

1) I can keep my room as dirty as possible n there will be no one to bother me to clean up all the mess. The best part is that when I come back home in the evening everything would be in its place thanks to my Helper Bhaiya.

2) I can wake up and sleep at any time. At times I have the most atrocious sleep timings. I will sleep at 5p.m and wake up at 1 a.m. or I'll wake up 3 a.m. watch TV till 5 a.m then sleep again. Tell me would you have such freedom if you were sharing a room with someone?

3) I can do whatever I want to do. For e.g.-I can talk on the phone as much as I want- all day n all night.

4) It gives you time to pursue your interests. I have started painting n sketching more often now.

5) It teaches you how to enjoy by yourself. It teaches you how you can make yourself happy.

6) Recently(from today, to be more precise), I have started singing loudly, almost shouting (he he). Lets see next tym I meet one of my friends, if I can entertain them or not.

7) Every weekend I go to a new place, meet up with different people. N the best part is nobody asks me where r u going, with whom r u going, wen will u come come back, etc etc. (maybe because my parents trust me enuf n moreover I do tell them where I am going, so that they are not too worried. See I am a good kid.)

Points to remember (if you ever plan to stay the way I do):

1)Make sure that the cook is good. A bad meal means a bad day.

2) Make sure u have a lot of interests, only then ca u keep urself busy.

3) U should basically be a loner.

4) U should have at least one good friend with whom you can talk whenever u want to (2 a.m or 5 a.m he/she should be available).

5) Try staying like this only if you r not scared of the dark n you don't believe in ghosts and spirits.

the last tym...

when was the last tym i did something.. lets see

last tym i did shopping: 6 hrs back... bought a new Tee :)

last tym i talked to my sister: 15mins back... ahh she's down with fever

last tym i sketched: 2 days back... yeah im back into my sketching world :)

last tym i walked barefoot in the garden: today morning... that'll be 12 hrs back

last tym i cribbed i had too much work: 4 hrs back... was telling my Masi how much work i have :(

last tym i lost my temper: hmm... i guess 2 days back

last tym i had a real nice tym wid my friends: 2 weeks back... office party... totally amazing!! danced like crazy!!

last tym i told a lie: hmmm... lemme think... hmm hmm hmm... im an angel, i dont lie. now!

last tym i cried: today morning. I was watching "Finding Neverland." It just made my cry :'(

last tym i thot i'd make it big in my life: 5 secs back :)

last tym i had a dreamless sleep: hmmm... i guess 4 days back

last tym i was really really really happy: abt 3 to 3.5 months back (dont ask me why, it was generally a happy happy period for me.)

last tym i jumped: (i jump wen im nervous) that'll be abt 4 months back... was going to miss a deadline (i didn't :))

last tym i thot i'd give a 4th chance: 2 hrs back :( maybe i will, maybe not!!

last tym i saw my mom, dad, n sis: 1 month back, 2 months, n 2 months repectively... high tym they come to see me!!

last tym i felt i was just a kid: hmm... that'll be a long long tym... abt 7-8 months

last tym i did something new: yesterday... went to the market alone, had golgappas alone :( n then came back... had thot this day wud never come but it did :(

last tym i went cycling: hmm... a week back, that's because now i've started walking n it's fun!!

hmmm i cant think of any more last tyms... maybe u'd like to ask??

Expectations...

"I expected you to do this!!"

"He didn't live up to my expectations."

"U expected too much from me."

"I wasn't expected to do this."

Everyone of us has heard at least one of these lines from someone or the other or has used these lines for someone or the other. You would be kidding yourself, if you deny this fact. Expectations!! It's such a "heavy" word. It's because of these expectations that we fight with our loved ones. It is these expectations that is the cause of all the worries in our lives. It is because of these expectations that we fall in love, try to build relationships, and wish to maintain them.

Wouldn't life be so simple if we don't have any expectations. But, thinking about it... would that be possible. I really dont know. I really dont know if i can ever do that. Having no expectations is beyond the scope of my intelligence...

But, wat i still can try doing is expecting something from somebody that, that somebody is expected to do. Complicated... yeah... even im confused ;)

Lets take an example: Person A sends to person B a gift. Person A is a very sensitive person, loves being appreciated, loves talking etc etc. Person B also a talkitive person, very easy going, basically happy-go-lucky types. Now, person A in such a situation would expect person B to call up n appreciate the gift. And, person B in such a situation would no doubt appreciate the gift but wouldn't think it is important to call up n carry on the formalities. Wats important for person B is that s/he felt good after getting the gift.

Now, person A after sending the gift has 2 options: 1) expect wat s/he expects person B to do i.e. person B calls up n appreciates person A...

or 2) expect wat person B is expected to do i.e. person B is happy with the gift but wouldn't call.

And, similary person B will have to options: 1) do wat person A expects him/her to do i.e. call up n thank him/her for the gift.

or 2) do wat s/he usually does i.e. not call

Now, lets try all the permutations and combinations:

Person A follows option 1 and Person B follows option 1: i.e. person A is expecting a call from person B and person B knows that person A loves being apperciated, calls up person A. Ahh!! person B understands person A so well.

Person A follows option 2 and Person B follows option 2: i.e. person A is not expecting person B to call because person A know it's not in his/her nature to call. And, person B doesnt call. Hmm, person A understands person B so well. This one's an ideal situation. (I don't know till when can person A handle such a thing)

Person A follows option 2 and Person B follows option 1: person A is not expecting a call and person B calls up. Wow, wat a surprise!! Life would be so much fun!!

Person A follows option 1 and Person B follows option 2: person A is expecting a call and person B doesn't call up. Beware, it's a war!!!

So, in life we can have so many options. We can choose anyone of them. It can make life easy or it can make it tough. Ultimately it all depends on us. And the best option would be to expect wat the other person is expected to do. It tough no doubt, but possible.

25 lesser known facts abt me...

Well to tell u the truth i got this idea from Facebook, lets see if i can come up with 25 lesser known facts about me.

25) I'm 5 feet 6 inches tall, look more like my dad than my mom.

24) I love shopping, i buy clothes thinking i'll wear them wen i get thin. But that situation never comes n I end up wearing the same old clothes. At a time I have one pair of jeans which i wear till it's worn out. (ofcourse i have other pairs too, whibh i wear wen the fav one has gone for washing)

23) People have an opinion that I listen to only English music, but I love hindi music n some old songs too.

22) I am more closer to my Mom than to my Dad.

21) I love to work under pressure. It is the only way i can work.

20) I love cycling in summers and walking in winters.

19) I extremly emotional person. I can cry in an instant, u can never guess wat might hurt me.

18) As a kid I used to cry a lot n i used to mostly breakdown in front of people. Then in clg it was a little lesser but still it was a lot. Now, cry when no one is watching but i still cry a lot.

17) I can have only one good friend at a time. And when I have that friend, I forget everyone else.

16) I hate it when people throw garbage on the street or the road. Wat r dustbins for.

15) I love other people's children. I find kids very interesting. I really dont know if i would want kids of my own.

14) I think a lot esp. when people dont want me to think!!

13) I'm not afraid of the dark, but I am extremely scared of silence.

12) Forgiving people is easy for me, wat is tougher for me is forgiving myself.

11) I'm not a very neat person, but in my room I know where each thing is kept.

10) I love bossing around people.

9) I'm talkative around people who dont talk n quiet around people who talk a lot. (n ultimately it depends on my mood)

8) I get bored easily. The topics of discussion have to keep changing to keep me interested in a discussion.

7) I get impatient very easily. Things have to keep happening around me.

6) I take a lot of tym to adjust n accept new things. Be it places or be it people.

5) I love looking outside the window of a moving car or a train.

4) As a kid, I was really afraid of water. Never used to enter a boat or cross a bridge(over a small river).

3)I change my opinions according to people around me. But, that doesnt mean that i dont have an opinion abt something. I have very strong opinions abt evrything, it's just that I dont like arguing. I dont think I have to prove myself to anybody execpt myself.

2) I love reading, but orkut n facebook n gtalk are the biggest enemies of my reading habit. :P

1) I binge when I'm stressed.

Ah!! I cud come up with 25 lesser known things abt me. and in less than 30 mins. Wow im impressed with myself :P

Why r we so afraid of death?

Today morning while going to office my cab was going to meet with an accident. We were all saved by our driver's presence of mind and quick reaction. Kudos to him!! But, the most interesting thing was the reaction of the people around me.

I'll start with my reaction. Let me tell u that I'm a bit slow with my reactions, so because the incident took only 5-6 secs to occur it didn't really strike to me that we could die. HA HA!!

But the person sitting infront of me n everyone else was so shaken. They thanked God for saving them. They speculated what could have happened n blah blah!!

All this time I was thinking, why are we so all afraid of death. Is it because of the unexpected? i.e. we don't know what happens after death. What happens after we die? There are so many theories- the concept of going into a tunnel meeting, then the person u were the most close to n that person holding your hand and taking u towards light; the concept of hell and heaven, etc etc. All these are so interesting to read. But, do we need to complicate things so much.

Another reason I can think of is that we haven't seen n experienced so many things yet. So, does that mean you r not satisfied with your life. Then y r u letting such a situation come. Death could come at anytime, maybe today, maybe after 60 years. Why deny this fact? Why ask for another day? why let such situations come up that u have to ask for another day? Why not make a conscious effort not to sour relationships and betray people, make an effort to be happy and to make people happy around you.

There can be a thousand other reasons, but tell me do we even need to think about these reasons? Why cant we believe that nothing happens, that we just die. N there is nothing apart from that that happens. No soul and no after life.

Yeah, maybe a afterlife, but in the minds of people i.e. that people remember you. When they think about you they feel happy, they think about the happy times you had with them. That is the only afterlife I can think of. I personally do this a lot. I was very close to my grandfather. Whenever I'm extremely troubled, I just close my eyes and imagine him sitting in front of me. And I discuss my problems/worries with him. Seeking a solution from him. Though he never talks backs but i know he is listening. All the time he is stroking my head or patting my back, showing that he is there. I feel lighter after this and am able to think of a solution also!! According to me, this is afterlife. (Ah! i moved away from the topic)

N moreover, why be scared of something you've never seen. Why be scared of death when it is the only inevitable thing in life.

Returning to my first love...

It's been such a long time since I've been with you. U filled my life with color. Clear, pure, simple colors. Red, green, blue, yellow, and orange. Oh! so beautiful. The colors so transparent that they showed what lay underneath. And, no matter was underneath, it made you look even more beautiful.

I remember the first time I was with you, I messed it up totally. My hand was shaky and I was nervous. However, at least I realized what my mistakes were. So, the next tym I took care of all my mistakes. And you came out to be so pretty and after that there was no looking back.

I still remember the hours spent with you. Days n nights just used to pass without a worry. Being with you was such a pleasure. Your company made me smile, it made me laugh. I used to show u off in front of my friends. U made me happy.

You had cold exteriors, but you had placid interiors. All I knew was that I needed just the right amount of creativity to bring out the true you.

How could I be bored of you? How could I give up on you?

But, now im going to come back to you. Im going to return to my first love. Im going to make another you. Im going to make another beautiful Glass Painting. :) :)

Pursuit of Happyness

Somebody once told me "Happiness is all around you, you just have to go grab it."

Have you ever asked yourself - what makes you happy?

Hmm... the answers could be friends, family, love, chocolates, good food, appreciation, running, cycling, etc etc.

I keep asking this question to myself. N yesterday, i finally got the answer. The answer was none of the options given above. I always thot it was one of these. But, it wasn't.

What makes me happy is not friends, not family, not love etc... It's my mind. If my mind is in a positive mood, then everything will be good around me. If it negative, then even if thing r going on just fine, I'll perceive them as negative. This is the power of my mind.

Some of u might disagree with this. U may say that if u have one of these then ur mind wud be positive. I'd say if u r positive then u wud have everyone of these. Lets take an example. Suppose u r a very critical person. U keep criticising everything u see n have. Then wud u have friends? No. Wud ur family want to talk to u? Maybe yes, but for not more than 5 mins before they also star getting irritated... Wud u have love? Never, u'll be really lucky if u have. In contrast, if u r a very positive person, then u'll attract everybody towards u. U'll have friends, ur family wud appreciate u, n of course love wud be there...

N frm where does all this positivity come from. It comes from ur own thinking, your own mind.

In the end i'll conclude by saying:

"If happiness is within you, then it is all around you."

Wat made me happy today?

This post is about the little things that made me happy today:

1) early morning seeing the peahen run behind the peacock, and the peacock running away from the peahen.

2) Seeing a Peacock perched majestically on top of the roof- it looked so royal, like he is the King of the world. Standing tall with such dignity.

3) seeing the lilies and walking barefoot on the grass- makes me feel so peaceful.

4)Me completing 1 year at my job.

5)while planning for a treat Nis using "roadside hacker" instead of "roadside hawker". Okay, I'll tell the story. Wat happened was that everybody was asking for a treat for the one year anniversary. But, we three (the new joinees) were reluctant. We said which is the cheapest restaurant here. we'll take you there. And, then Nis said " there are no hackers here, otherwise i wud have taken u there." Everybody now was puzzled. wat did she mean. then we realized that she was talkin about roadside hawkers n we were in splits.

6)Sasha using "precipitation" instead of "perspiration". Today was a day of slip of tongues :P. The story for this is : while goin to the 14 sector market, we (Att, Chin, Praj, Sasha, and me) saw some guys relieving. Can't people just find a loo!! Then, Att and me started laughing and said lets say shame shame poppy shame!! Sasha said "they'll stop going to the loo then." Then, Prajl said "Then will they use their neighbour's loo." Sasha said in a serious tone "No, they'll loose all the water by precipitation." Precipitation!!! or perspiration. Just imagine loosing all the water by precipitation. We started laughing so hard that our stomachs ached.

7)Me goin to Praj's cube n commenting on his silly facebook status updates. U seem like a demented kid. And then again we laughed so hard.

8)Seeing about 50 parrots perched on the top most branch of a tree. Seeing the about 100 pigeons sitting in a line on a electricity cable.

9)Sitting in my garden enjoying the greenery n the cool evening breeze.

Today the whole day I was sulking, I wasn't happy. But, looking back I've realized there were so many good instances that had occurred. N I've had a hearty laugh just writing about them. So, from now on, I'll not wait for such moments to occur, I'll make them occur. I'll be excited about every moment.

Blooming Lilies

Yesterday evening while strolling in my garden I noticed some lily buds in one of the sections of my garden. Little green buds just waiting to bloom. I thot that they'll take at least 2 to 3 days to blossom. They were were happily swaying in the wind. Teasing me, saying "u'll have to wait a little while more, to see us blossom. Not so fast, not so fast." I just smiled and thot "I'll wait. Don't ya worry."


Then, today morning (6 A.M) when I got up, I went outside. Just for a little walk, some stretching, some thinking, and some pondering. What was the first thing I noticed in the garden? I saw some 20 lilies were about to blossom. Their petals had only slightly open. They hadn't blossomed fully till now. They looked so beautiful. They looked so pretty. They looked so pure. They had little dew drops on them. The dew shining in the soft light of the sun. It was sheer bliss, watching them. I wish I had taken their picture. I admired them and then went inside after a while.


At 9 A.M. I, again, went outside with the sole purpose of seeing the lilies. By this time they had blossomed fully. Pretty white lilies and that also so many of them. Looking at them was a treat to my eyes and my mind. When I looked at them, I felt so peaceful. Like there is just this moment of purity and naturalness and nothing else to dilute the moment. Thank you pretty white lilies to give me such a moment of exhilaration.


Just love the "The pretty white lilies."Can't wait for more of them to blossom!!!

Stages of my Anger

Recently I've been very angry with some people. And I've observed the various stages of my anger. It is amazing the way I've reacted towards these people. The way I've reacted has varied from complete denial of what they said and did to complete acceptance with some stages in between. So, here are the stages of my anger:

First comes complete denial. I'll try to deny to the core what he/she has said and done. I'll say it's okay, perfectly natural. It doesnt matter. I'll support that person.

Then it hits me, I become angry. How could he/she do this? Didn't he/she think once about me/others before doing this?

Then, I begin to hate that person. Say he/she is heartless, mean, irresponsible, selfish, and arrogant. I dont want to talk to him/her ever again. But, then I'd been such good friends with these people so how could I give them up so easily.

So, i try to talk normally with that person. But, things r not the same again. The way that i perceive them changes, so I can never talk to them the same way.

So, after that i begin to hate myself for ever being friends with these people. I begin to hate myself for not seeing the signs before. For believing all the lies they said and showed.
And, if i reach this stage, then Im done with the friendship. It's over. It is at this stage that I decide whether to carry on or to give up. And, 90% of the times I give up. Somehow I dont think so I can ever forgive someone, if they've hurt me. It is the toughest thing for me. But, thats the way I am.

Looking for some inspiration

Its been a long tym that I've written something. It's not that ideas aren't coming. It's just that I'm not able to write. I write three sentences and that's it. Im done. I have nothing else to write. I've done this almost 5 times now. Just now able to build upon an idea. Hmm...I think I need some inspiration, some comedy, some tragedy in my life.

Life's pretty slow these days. Not much work in office. 1 days work is done in 5 days. I've been missing almost all my deadlines. But, it's okay. Friends have been moving away. Friendships are being hit by misunderstandings. But, again it's okay. I know everything will be cleared. (as a matter of fact I'm counting on that, because till now it hasn't really hit me.) I've tried to drown myself in work. But, now there is paucity of work. So, cant do that also. And, moreover how can one run away from something and find solace in something else.

The worst part of this phase is that im not inspired to paint or sketch. No inspiration at all. Im just looking for some inspiration.

(I know this is just a half hearted post to write 'something')

Three Little Angels

Six months ago I told God that I wanted to talk to him. But, He didnt listen to me. I thought he had ignored me. I was distraught. But, I was wrong. He was looking at me all the tym. He knew I had given up my faith in him. N I also didnt try to hide this fact. However, God had bigger plans for me. He sent three angels to me. They answered all my questions, they cared for me. They listened to me. Fluttering their wings, they used to come to see me every day in my dreams. I used to talk to them and they used to listen intenly. We used to laugh together and we used to cry together. Life was so simple when they were around. Then, one day they said: "We know u can handle things now. We need to leave. Someone else needs us now." I didnt stop them. But, I ask them to keep visiting me. Now, I miss them.

Should I have stopped them??

Sugar n Spice and Everything Nice-- The New View...

This one is the last in the series of "Sugar n Spice and Everything Nice".

Walking thru the desert, I found myself. Things that I wanted from my life became a little clear. Now, that i could see ahead. I saw greenery. I saw tall Chinese White Pine trees. They provided some shade, but its branches were to high for me to catch. I tried and I jumped. I couldn't catch the branch at first. I tried and I re-tired. After about 10-15 jumps I got hold of the branch and took the fruit from it. I tasted so good. Finally, after so long I had something to eat. The fruit satiated my hunger. As for water, I looked around I saw a beautiful river flowing. Trees lined besides it. I go towards it. I can see it changing its course. But, I wont let go so soon. I've just entered this new view. I don't want to let go. It feels safe here. I have food, I have water, and I have shade. But, I know the wind is starting again. And, this time I have to be prepared to fight it. As of now, it's sugar n spice and everything nice!!!

This has been pretty much the story of my life. Not many instances, not many people. A few I'll never forget, a few I'll never give up. But, I love them all be it the long stretch, the spiral, the hole, the chinese white pine trees, or the river. Each one taught me something.

"Life's a journey!! Enjoy each road. Live each moment. Today might never come back again."

Hope you enjoyed the series.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice- The Desert

The transition from the spiral to the desert was abrupt. I was totally thrown off balance, I definitely wasn't prepared for it. I had always been surrounded by the big leafy trees and I had always trotted on smooth roads. Even when I was in the spiral I knew there was a smooth rod going beside it. I knew back then, that had the option of going back. But, when I entered the desert I didn't know where to go, because there was no road. I had to find my way. How would i do it? I didn't know. The sun and the heat were too strong for me. I wanted water, but I cudn't find any. I longed for some shade, but there was no tree around. The wind was too strong, I could barely see what I wanted. It made a whooshing sound when it was too strong, it scared me. The sand in the wind pierced my skin. I wanted to fight the wind, and move ahead. But the more I tried, the more I lost. The more I struggled, the more tired I was. I was loosing my way. I was giving up. I was giving in. I was tired, hungry, and broken. I tried, till I cud try no more.

But, then at that instance when I felt that it was all over, nothing can change now, I have to live in this desert my whole life, I saw a little hole. I snuggled inside it. The hole protected me from the sun and the wind. I knew I was safe there. I stayed there for a while. Closed from the world. Away from all the roads. But, near myself. I realized I couldn't stay in the hole any longer. I was a traveller, I was not supposed to stay here for long. The wind had also slowed down now. It was time to move out. I came out of my hole, started my journey again. I walked, but this time I knew where I was going. Things were clearer. I walked and I walked. The scene began to change. It was getting green again. I began to walk faster. I was getting nearer to the greenery...

Cool Jobs!!

Ever wondered what is your dream job?? Something u'd love to do, something u can never be bored of??
Some of the dream jobs i can think of:

Travel Show Host: This job wud be absolutely amazing. U r travelling to unknown destinations in the finest, living in the finest hotels, meeting so many different people and that also for free... wow!!!

Food Critique: Eating out lavish dishes served by five star hotels or eating at roadside chaat walas... And u get paid for this... Man!! I wish i cud do this!!

Director of Sleep: All u got to do is to sleep in various travel lodges three or four times a week. Just to ensure that the beds are upto the standards. So all u got to do is snooze on the job :P

Bikini Shoot Photo Reflector Holder (This one's for the guys) The description of the job u can imagine urself ;-) Maybe u'll get lucky, if u r gud looking.

Island Caretaker: An island for urself!! Wat more cud u want from ur life. U'll have the luxury of working only 12 hrs a month, beach combing a tropical island, swimming, snorkeling, living in a sprawling beach house and collecting cool cash for maintaining a photoblog and a diary. Gosh!! When are they hiring!!

Chocolate Taster: tasting the delectable chocolates... milk chocolate, dark chocolates, wafer chocolates, Swiss chocolates, and so many more... my mouth is already watering...

There cud be lot more of such jobs, which r just waiting to be explored.

Sugar n Spice and Everything Nice- The Spiral

The spiral still makes me tizzy wenever I look back at it.



Amazingly, I had entered the spiral long before I actually realized I was treading on it. And once I realized that i was in the spiral, i didnt want to go out of beacuse i thot i wud a long stretch and i thot I wud see beautiful pink and purple flowers, crystal clear blue water, lush green trees, and big multi coloured butterflies.

Initial part of the spiral was full of surprises and each day was discovering something new, some thing wonderful. But as i walked along, it wasnt the same. It became darker and dirtier. I kept walking because i kept imagining this wud change. But it was to dark to see that scenery had changed, It was too dark for me to realize that I should have walked out of the circle. I kept walking, but now it was dark and the stench was too overpowering for me. Finally there was a little light, that wen i realised what was around me. I moved out, but i wasnt completely out.

I enetered the smaller circle. I was cautious this time. I forced myself not to expect, yet I did. Yet again the circle didnt change. It was dirty and stinky as usual. I soothed myself by saying "some places never change." Again I moved out.

But yet again the circle succeeded in calling me back. This tym I was very cautious. This tym I was just waiting for a reason to come out. And expected the circle did give me a reason to come out of it. It did live "up" to my expectations.

And now wen i look back at the circle, I feel happy that i left it. Call me a sadist, but I feel happy that the circle is stinking and rotting. But, i feel sad because I expected so much more from the spiral and the spiral couldnt even give me a decent road to walk on. I know I dont want to look back at the spiral again, but wenever I do I feel pity for it.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice- The long stretch

Right now I am contemplating whether to write about the long stretch, the spiral, or the desert. Whether i shud go in a sequence or pick up roads randomly. I think a sequence wud be good... it always easier to understand things wen they r in a sequence!!!

I had crossed the "long road" long before I actually thread on it. And, it was not just once but many times. The road didnt seem that interesting to me, so i never bothered myself abt it, back then. But one day, wen i was crossing the road I just happened to glance at it. Just a glance and i was amazed by the beauty I saw there. The road which i thot i would never tread was the road i wanted to go on. I had my inhibitions regarding that road. But it was all written, i had to go on it. So my journey on the long road started. I was fun, it was interesting, it was rejuvinating. The road was beautiful, clean, and lined with trees. On both sides of the road there was green grass. The road nurtured me, it gave me food when i was hungry, it gave me water wen i was thirsty, and it gave me shade wen i was tired. Each day, it taught me how to live and how to provide.

But the road wasn't going to take me to my destination. It was going somewhere else. I knew I had to give it up or else i wud have had to change my destination. It was tuff, it still is!! But I hope one day wen both me and the road have reached our destinations we meet again and restart our journey again. One day... And i know that day will come...

And i once again travelled back in time...

It's 12 30 AM. I have no clue why I am awake. Maybe to write the specification (which I definitely am not doing) rather im surfing the tv channels to find something to watch, sketching in between, munching etc etc...
While surfing tv channels I found "The identity" was coming on HBO. Waooh...
And the memories came shooting back... I was in 2nd year when i had seen the movie.

Ana, dhi, n I were sitting in room no. 23/3 T-V hstl (my room) n talking. It was about 2 o'clock n something happened. I became extremely restless n irritated. Dhi n Ana were feeling sleepy n I wasn't. I wouldn't let them sleep. So, Ana recommended me this movie. She had recently seen it and she had liked it. So, I said okay n I went to 23/6 (Dhi's room) to watch the movie. I saw the movie n I was totally confused. U can imagine my plight restless, irritated, frustrated, n now I didnt even understand the movie!!! Uff... All this tym Ana was talkin to Jai. So at around 4 30 she enters the room n asks howz it going... I was totally distraught. I didnt understand the movie, wats happening in this movie??? HELP!!!! Ana came in, n we discussed... She explained the whole movie to me... Then my pentium 2 processor (my brain) started working... Ohh !! this happens... It was around 6 o'clock when we finally slept... (This was a weekday n next morning we both has classes at 9 n we attended those!!)
Today, watching this movie brought back all the memories of that cold wintry night, and all the other night ups we had in the hslt, all the pranks we played, the dance parties, the achar parties, the ole ole ole mera baeby, n how can i forget the BKA.
And now watching the movie, im again confused... Maybe i need Ana again to explain me the movie!! Gosh the capacitors in my brain need recharging...

And I Cried

I cried today,
I cried because i hurt someone,
I cried because i was hurt by someone.
I cried because i could see no future,
I cried because i couldn't remember the past.
I cried for myself and I cried for you.
I cried till i could cry no more,
I cried till i couldn't find a reason to cry anymore.
I cried till i was happy once more
And had let it out for more...

Sugar n Spice n Everything Nice- The Story

I ve been wanting to use this title since a long tym... But the right content never came across. Today i think i have some appropriate content for it :P

It is been exactly 22 years 6 months and 11 days since the tym i gasped for my first breath... a few hrs lesser since my first cry and maybe a few days lesser since my first laugh or smile...

Life for the initial 17 years were sometwat insignificant... i didnt really know wat the world is all abt... n i didnt bother myself with the trivialities of life.

The rest 5 yrs 6 months and 11 days have been a journey... Ups n downs, long stretches, spirals, parallel roads, round abouts, branching roads, and dead ends. I've seen beautiful valleys and hideous dungeons. Everyday I've learnt an aspect of life that is ugly yet beautiful in its own way. Every road that i've tread on has been invigorating. I've seen these ups n downs because I chose the road, knowing that it'll show me places i've never seen before. At times, I thought that these ups n downs would lead to deadends, but actually they were long stretches which eventually branched out. I chose one road over the other because I knew there wasn't a middle path. But the sceneries of the long stretches remain forever. N i do think wat wud i have seen if i had taken the other road. But i can never tell because i'll never tread that road again. Maybe someday that road will meet my road and everything would be the same. There are times when the other road does cross the road I am travelling, for a moment i do think that it would go parallel with my road. But these stretches are short. They come n go, n i keep moving on my road with a promise to meet that road again.

I meet spirals on my way. I go in a circle, realize im back in the same place n the place has become dirtier. Let me give another try, but the scene doesn't change. Rather it gets darker. But still i move on only to reach a deadend. It is then i realize maybe it was a wrong turn, a wrong decision. I promise myself to be careful next tym. I chose that road bcoz it looked promising and I thot I cud reason out why i was choosing this road. But wen the reasons began to end, i cudnt give myself another reason to stay. So, i moved out of the spiral to see i've only reached a desert. The temptation to enter the spiral still remains but i dont want to go back again.

Now, I see the desert and barren land, the sun is too strong here. I shield myself from the sun and the wind. The sun burning me and the sand in the wind piercing my skin. I find ways to protect myself. I dig a hole n go inside. I see no sun n I see no road. I feel safe, yet i want to go out n i want to face the sun. Because im a traveller n i cant wait for the wind to die away. These are the days i might never see again. These are the moments i might never feel again.

So, i go out n see the view has changed. It isn't that windy and i can see a road ahead. I see the scene is changing. I see a river and lush green trees all along the river. I run to the road. To begin a new journey with a new zeal...

(Sequel to this blog shall follow describing each road in detail. So wait, for therez more to come.)

(FYI-- the roads represent my friends- some long lasting friends others whom i just regret calling friends!!)

today!!!-- wat a wonderful day!!

Today was a day full of surprises. I woke up, all excited!! full of energy. Ready to fight myself thru the day... Haiiii yaaah!!! got up, got ready... my today's Nick name "Haryali" because i was wearing my deep green T and green chappals!!

Went to office.. Ohh Att n Nis already in office... Good, i can give their gifts now itself (for the past 3 weeks every sat, sun or during a holiday, I've been making some drawings) Called Nis n pulled her to the conference room where Att was sitting... "There's something for you both!! Take happy bday in advance...LOL!!" (their bday's are months away) I had made ambigrams for them. Att's was thougher Nis's was simpler. Both of them were extremly happy after getting the ambigrams. They pput them in front of thier cubes. "Wow!! my art wud be famous here." I've been showing off a lot lately!! Almost everyone stopped by my cube asking me to make something for them. :) Even my boss said "The space below my name seems empty!!"
I smiled n said "Your name is too tuff!!" Cudn't have given a dumber reply. :P

Finally after all this i settle down in my cube.. Ahh check gmail, check orkut... Nothing nothing... then check my official mail... Hmm 2 mails from my mentor, inventor mail...ohk decent nothing special (gmail still open)... wat do i have to do today claim map, send response, and update claims n drawings... lots of work... lets get started!!!

Gmail.. i receive a mail... makes me happy, then makes me sad... No point being sad girl, you dont care anymore... dont reply, coz i dont want to!!

My boss come up to me... gud job!! praise praise!!... Me: smiling... "thanx"

Claim map tym... oh!! this is our invention.. very different ... cool!! 4 hrs n my claim map is done... woosh woosh swoosh...

Im jumping around in office. Go to Sasha's cube "Oe!! your name is very symmetrical... i ll make an ambigram for u..." Then i teach him how to make one... "dum dim dum ... la la la... tada... simple... there we go!! just one thing can u get me some drawing sheets... i dont have any at home." " ohk i'll get some" (But he forgets to get the drawing sheet!! Nothing for him this weekend)

Lunch tym...gol gappa's for lunch... "somebody pls take lunch from the canteen!! i want to have gol gappe" Att finally agrees n gets lunch... Then the technique for how to fill water in the gol gappa starts... Wow we treied everything, but cudnt pour the water inside without spilling!! We r the only one who are always laughing in the cafeteria... "I've to complete my claim map." So, i leave.

Hmm.. claim map!! wrote the argument... shud suffice!! chalo done... now update claims n drawings... hmm... "im tired" no have to do it... dum di dum dum di dum... finally done by 6:30 o clock...

In between updating the claims n drawings, i went to meet Att... i was jumping around.. literally jumping... I jump wen im stressed... Att " dont u kno there are ppl on the 5th floor" Me " i cant help it.. this makes me release the stress..." jump jump jump!! After some tym i get back to work.

Mail-mannnnnn... "I have a parcel!!" Me me... of all the ppl me!! Im all smiles... "who's it frm?? Oh girl!! that's so cute." It's my best friend. She remembered... I had asked her to send me chocolates... N she actually sent me some... No one has done that for me before... Thank you girl!! u never fail to surprise me...be it your chitter chatter abt ur umteen boyfriends or the little things u do for me...But, the parcel (rat kill) was liking an icing on the perfect day!!

Now filled with a new energy...

Response... ohk.. write email... dush dush dush... check check... yeah send... zoom it goes...

printouts!! yeah interns "dhokha de diya... i'll have to take out the printouts..." for 3 cases to be done over the weekend... which i seriously doubt i'll be doing, but seeing my deadlines. I dont think i have a choice.
it seems i have 5-6 kilo's of pages with me.. all to be done over the weekend... Can i do it?? Well lets see.. if not 3 at least two i have to do!!
email to mentor... da da da.... gzoommm...

Work for the weekend: it always starts with the spec( for the past 3 weeks i've been delaying it), then the 3 claim maps, and response... Cool!! Im loving it :(

But now i know the perfect recipe to be happy-- keep yourself busy!! i've been working my arse off past 3 weeks... but im enjoyin to the hilt... i dont have the time to think abt the stupidities of life n ppl... Im painting, im drawing.. Im doin the things i love to do... im living for others n im living for myself... im cribbing for mom... im happy n dreaming for more!!

a question???

Why do some people have an incessant need to criticize others?? N these are the people who can never see any positive in anything... they crib about everything around them... I fail to understand why are these people like this. So I ask u??

Mom-- she is my world

It seems a long time, since the last tym i wrote... I seem to have grown up... or maybe the opposite...

Lately I've been missing mom like anything. It's just her presence that makes all the difference. A simple hug from her makes me forget all the worries of my life. Everything is simple and easy to deal with, if I have her beside me. N the best part is irritating her with my stupid logic-- at times she falls for it, at times she doesn't. But, it is always so much fun... The house feels like home when she is here. When she is here, I know home would always be in perfect shape, everything would be at its place. The food would be perfect, upto my liking n not the same old south indian taste in everything (yuk...) And on Sundays when she is here, I don't wait for company I can just go anywhere n everywhere with her...she is always game!!! Mom why aren't you coming home... I miss you...

And i travelled back in time

Chh, Hak, and Nel are here. Sleeping right now. But yesterday was had an awesome time.

The plan to meet up was fixed last tym we met, n that was abt a month back but the date wasnt fixed. All that was needed was an empty house and some people. As far as people were concerned, we 4 were there, but how do we get an empty house. But that was simple, it'd been a while that i'd been living alone at home. So my place was perfect for our party. So day before yesterday I sent out a message that we'll have the party this weekend. (I dont give others too much tym to think and then backout) The plan was going to be scrapped due to some undisclosable reasons. But fortunately it wasnt. :)

The D-day
I thot the most difficult part would've been to find my place. However, it was soon tombe realized that it was the easiest part (my place isn't that tuff to find, it just seems to be at an unkown place)
From the car Hak and Chh called up to ask directions, told them "blah... blah!!!"
Chh: "Im feeling very hungry, wats for dinner?"
Me: "Hmm, something u've never eaten before."
Chh: "Wow! sounds cool."
Me: "Well, if u dont like it, then we'll make something u've never eaten before. So, in any case u'll be eating something u've never eaten before."


Nel was already here by that tym, n we were walkin outside, n talkin. Catching up with our life. Discussing all the gossip she had. It was just like college days, wen me n nel used to walk in the campus talkin abt anything and everything under the sun. Nel felt that this place was like a resort one cud sit here n talk, take a walk, n relax ur arse off (wow that rhymes). We had just finished up with the initial catching up, that Chh and Hak were at the gate. Both of us rushed to receive them. (Now dont think im a good hostess, it's an army area. No civilians allowed inside.)
The plan initially was to have a dance party, but seeing the place the girls realized that it wud be better to sit n chat. Everyone felt that it was like a resort n they had come for a vacation!!

We went inside the house, dinner was ready to be served. So, we had dinner which was iddiypam (something u must have never eaten before) with egg curry n black channe (which im sure u've eaten before). We were eating and laughing, n eating n laughing and eating... with all this eating and laughing we forgot how much we had eaten... now our stomachs were full n hurting... but we still had place for the ice cream... ate it, now it was too full, went for a walk... sat in the garden... again sat n chatted but this time of the previous trips n the forthcoming trips.
Suddenly, Hak said "Are there dogs here!!" There was fear in her eyes.
Me: "No there arent. u r just hallucinating."
Hak: : "i just felt that someone was behind me."
Nel n Chh: "Ssi, this place is haunted."
Me: "Dont scare me. I have to live here and that also all alone."
Hak: "Im suddenly feelin cold here."
Nel: "U kno, when a spirit passes ur body, u feel cold."
Chh: "I feel cold too."
Nel: "Now, i can feel it too."
It's almost 10 30 at night, and there's nobody around. even the lights r off... the only lights switch on was the one in front of the mess kitchen and my house.
Chh: "I think it's going in circle."
Me: "Guys, stop it. I dont feel anything!"
Then this discussion of "The Haunted" a serial on Discovery starts...
Blah blah blah
Hak: i just felt somebody was behind me.
We looked around naah nothing is here...
Me (making a sudden jerk coz i had felt a chill go down my spine, Nel notices this) "I felt it now!"
Nel: " i told u.. this place is haunted."
Hak (looking under her chair): "something is under my chair"
It was almost 11 now.
Me: "I think we shud move inside."
Hak, Nel, and Chh : "yeah, letz go in."

Once inside, again a discussion abt "how random guys try to woo a girl" started... Blah blah blah... Conclusion: They shud get more innovative with their ideas, they've been using the same stuff for too long now!! Along with the discussion, Hak was making tea for herself n Nel. She made me find all the possible ingredients for "the tea", though i cud find only one "Saunf". She made "the tea" n served it to Nel.
Chh: "Smells gud... lots of saunf"
Hak: "yeah! lots of it"
Nel: Taking a sip "It's only saunf, Ssi u want a sip"
Me: "yeah" Had a sip. I grimaced when i tasted the tea.
Everyone started lauging. "Classic reaction by Ssi"
Me: "its bitter. maybe coz of the extra saunf"
Chh (also tasting the tea) :"Yuk, how can u ever drink this? Havent u put any sugar?"
Hak:"Only tea n saunf"
Chh: "How can u ever drink this? it's like a saunf syrup."
Nel: "I've finished it. My taste buds have stopeed working now."
Blah blah blah....
11:30 PM--We changed into night clothes.... (it's taking me more tym to write these incidents than it took these incidents to actually take place. this one was a 15-20 min discussion)
Started with the music. Speakers were gud enuf for the room and in the room there was ample space to dance. So, we started. La la la la la..... (dancing).
Hak was possessed by the spirit of an uncle. She was dancing like a crazy uncle. But in between she wud start dancing like a decent aunty. There was a constant conflict between the crazy uncle and the decent aunty. But the crazy uncle was overpowerin the decent aunty. I need to get *a*-**. She changed n came. No gud. Crazy uncle was still winning n we were all enjoyin it!!

Ultimately, i think the crazy uncle got tired and we shut down the music and switched in the TV.
Wat to watch, wat to watch! Started with Vh1, roadies, bhootwala serial, saw Dil (Hak n Nel danced on "aaj na chodenge tujhe dum duma dum." They were emulating Amir n Madhuri n It was fun to watch them.) after that i was too drowsy to remember wat was on TV. But we were watching something interesting. In 15-30 mins after that we all were in our beds, fast asleep. Nel n Chh had a small fight regarding who will sleep in the middle. But ultimately truce prevailed n Nel slept in the middle in the opposite direction to me n Chh.

Now its 7 30 AM and im already up... writing this blog which i wont publish now but i ll publish later, coz the party isnt over yet!! (picture abhi baki hai mere dost)

It's late at night now, had a long day today!! extremely tired, but i have to write this before my memory starts fading. (Hehe... dramatic ho gaya na... seems like Amir's "gajini")
I dont know how many of you will ever reach this point of this post... If u have Kudos to u...

It was almost 9 30 when everyone woke up.
Chh: "I felt like i was in hostel."
Nel: "I was lookin for the stairs to go down n have breakfast at the mess." (For all those who dont kno-- Nel was a hosteler n her room was on the first floor. As a matter of fact Chh, Nel, n Hak were roomies)
Chh: "Now it feels like we'll have south indian breakfast."(Clg messed served South Indian)
Me: "Girls, the breakfast is South Indian!!!"
Chh: "Wow!!"
We all brushed our teeth and went to have breakfast...
yummmy, amazing dosas, idlis, sambar n coconut chutney.... yum yum... finger licking yumm...
Everybody enjoyed the breakfast... n "the cook" was happy with all the appreciation he got... All smiles on his face... South Indian is his forte...
Too full, we all wanted to sleep again now!! So went to the master bedroom, switched on the AC, n started chatting... I dont remeber how the topic started but we had started discussing "is incest gud or bad?" which further led the discussion to "Why/how good genes are passed on." Then started the major discussion with all the gene theory coming into play... probability, mathematics, recessive gene n the dominant gene... mosquitoes n all outs... tribes in finland... mitosis myosis... i dont even remember who said wat... but ultimately we had it all figured out. That y the probabilty of passing a good gene is more than the probabilty of passing a bad gene...
(Chh once u read this blog do write abt it in the comments. I think u can explain it the best!!)
Discussed a little more on some other arbit topics... blah blah blah...
Lets get ready n go to SN... Everyone got up n got ready...
splash...splash...splash...
Hak: lets tell bhaiya to make some lemon drink and we'll sip it on the way.
Me: ohk, i ll just tell him!!
Bhaiya made this 2 lts of lemon water for us... N it was cold n very refreshing...
Chh: lets have it here only...
We took out 4 glasses and finished all of the water...
All of us: Whooo... that was gud...

Now, we were gud to go... Clicked a pic... the only one for the trip "transit to transit." And off we went to SN... n then to def col "Little Italy." Had lunch there... pizzas n pastas... n after that a light dessert at Angels n.... (i dont remember the full name, my memory is fading :-) ). Then i had some work n i parted frm the grp... went to Khan Market... picked up the stuff... n came back home... too tired i slept for 2 hrs... got up a few hrs back... today's 26th... it Nat's bday today!! Long day ahead... And im eagerly looking forward to it...

come away with me

Listening to the FM at 1 at night, seems that they r playing my playlist... all my fav songs r being played!!!

"So close no matter how far
Couldnt be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters" --Metallica- Nothing else matters

"Please come nowI think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I've found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when i heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say...
Hold me nowI'm six feet from the edge
And I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down"-- Creed- Six feet from the edge

"We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we’d know"-- Nickelback- Photograph

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you."-- Linkin Park- Numb

... it's amazing how songs can express your feelings so easily...
OMG!! just heard Avril Lavigne also... my day is complete now... :)
Good Night!!

a fleeting thought

I had a fleeting thought to end this blog... for reasons that cannot be told ... but somehow i wont be deleting it... but i wud be writing more often (hopefully)

Inspired

There are certain people with whom you just talk and u r inspired. They fill you up with this burst of positive energy that u start loving what you r doing. And they are some people with whom when you talk, they fill you up with negativity. They just drain out your energies.

This one's for people who inspire, though i know the one whom im writing about is never gonna read this blog. But she is one of the many people who never fail to inspire and everytime i finish one of her cases, i just wait to talk to her... Wen the call starts no matter how tired i am after the days work, her hello is so enthusiastic that u just get this burst of energy to work. Then the call goes on and she reviews my work, thinking out loud... which is so interesting, wen i get to know how she is thinking!!! "Ohk Jaasleen!! we can do it like this... but wat is this... ohh... what? they have this also... grhhh... ohh no, it is teaching this... grhhh... but we can write it like this... and we can overcome the rejection... dum dum dum... yeah finally got it... lets try this out... i think we'll have a good argument here..." All during the conversation im doing hmm, yeah, ohh... interrupting when i think she is goin wrong or wen se asks me something... discussing how we can overcome the rejection. Half an hour later shes read the whole Application, the references, found the difference, and finished up with the case that took me almost 17 hrs to do!! Then the call ends with some general talks abt here and there... abt india, festivals etc etc...

Then, its all abt spending another 17 hrs and then waiting to call her!!! I know im total ga-ga over her and her work, but maybe she is the only reason im still here... Hail you, Hail you!!

I would like to "hail" a few more pple who inspire-- one of them is a very regular reader of my blog and the other one lives in a far far away land... hail you, hail you...

Mind over matter

Everything is so easy if u have made up your mind to do it... Most of the times what stops us from doing something, is our mind. Like in movies we have "the bold me" and "the coward me." The 'Bold me' is my positive side, it tells me to go for it, to do it, it motivates me, shows me what i really want. Whereas the 'Coward me' brings me down, tells me what all i'll face if i fail, it always flashes the question " wat if"... There r times wen the good me wins and there r times wen the bad me wins!!

One such incident happened in Rishikesh.
This happened wen i was abt to try the cliff jump... I was standing at the cliff thinking...
The Bold me-- woo hoo!! im goin to try the cliff jump.
The Coward me-- Look at the water. Its deep green. How deep would it be...
Abt 80-90 feet... Man!! if i had to touch the river bed, how deep would i have to go.
(i started imagining... n i was so scared)
The Bold me-- But u have the life jacket. There r so many people doing this, nothing will happen.
The Coward me-- Ha ha... as if people dont get injured... You cud be one of then.
The Bold me-- But u have to try it, that is y u have come here...

I looked down one last tym, Said to myself "dont think abt it," and Jumped...
yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
My mind was totally blank wen i was in mid air... it was just dark!!!
Then i hit the water...splash.... I went in a feet or so, n came up... coz of the life jacket... then swam to the boat...
yes, i did it... My mind won!!! N im so proud of myself for that!!

April Fool day

Today, April 1, the day has fooled me, again n again... n hasnt yet stopped fooling me

7: 45-8:30 : Wake up. Get ready.
8:30-8:40: have breakfast, at 8: 40 a missed call - comeout the cab is goin to come. (it's the usual tym)
Now today was an extremely hot day...
8:40-9:00: waiting waiting, the cab hasn't come. Call up one of my cab ppl, they r stuck in a traffic. okay, I ll wait..
9:00-9:30: waiting, waitin... finally the cab comes...i sit inside...n we move towards the office.
9:30-9:35: my cab ppl r having a gud tym, makin fun of me... "haha, u waited for the cab for an hr... April fool!!" i was also party to all this fun...
9:35: a biker tells us that the cab has a punture.
Now a little background: I am always angry wid my cab ppl for us goin late to the office. For me the morning is the most productive time of the day. And, we reach office by 10, losing 1 hr isnt really acceptable to me (though even if i reach on tym i dont start by 9 30)
9:35-10: gettin the punture fixed, having a gud tym, eating samosas in all maza aaya...
10:00-10:45: travelling towards office... again making fun of everything, having a very gud tym.
10:45-1:00: got a claim map to finish, was doing that, cudnt find a single difference... wat am i gonna do... tomorrow is the deadline...(still not done, justing hopin i find something)
1:00-1:45 : Lunch. Now, my lunch box has two partitions. One for the subji and one for the roti. Today had paranthas. But, the subji partition was nicely packed and inside my cook had kept a slip "He He Ha Ha... April Fool." I was laughing like crazy in the cafeteria... This was totally unexpected!!!
1:45-3:00 : response tym, made some changes, completed it.
Now a lttle background: I have 5 deadlines tomorrow, man how am i gonna handle things... 3 responses, 1 claim map and 1 invention drawings... im done with the responses but they can be returned for some major or minor changes... just hoping they r not returned, if they r im goneeee... Also, tomorrow im goin for the rishikesh trip... no one has done anything apart frm bookin the train tickets... have a feelin its going to be utter confusion n a dud... but im excited abt it too.
3:00-5:00 : team meetin... a team building exercise... was fun... but i have deadlines to meet... get over it fast...
5:00-7:00 : Response changes... im gone, totally gone... tomorrow toh koi scope hi nahi hai kaam hone ka...
7:00-8:00 : What shud i do, what shud i do?? theres so much... claim map at home... invention drawings at home... wake up early morning to see the feedback of my responses... what if they r returned...(im a pessimist by nature)
I dont evn have that much tym at home... claim map takes me around 8 hrs, and these drawings r my first ones!!
8:00-8:30 : travellin back home, see an accident right in front of my eyes...
a bus slammed into a travera, there was a whole pile up... 4 cars smashed into one another... i hope everyone is safe, i hope there r no fatalities...
8:00-9:00 : chat with mom n sis, have a little argument. I have a pt, they have pt. No ones bending.
9:00-9:40: have dinner n write this blog

This was my whole day... full of tension... i just hope that the day is fooling me, n tomorrow evrything will be alright...

I wud have loved to elaborate on each n every detail, but seeing the time crunch I have I think i ve done a fairly gud job :)

The c**p called love!!!

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful."

Beautiful, isn't it!! I don't think so. Let me try to negate it.

"Love is always patient and kind." Hmm... interesting... love n patient!! Maybe kind, but not at all patient... why is it wen we r waitin for someone, we feel irritated and bugged... tell me haven't u ever felt the same wen u had been waiting for someone u "loved."

"It is never jealous." haven't you hated it, when the person u loved talked to someone u disliked. Weren't u filled with anger wen u saw this, and you just wanted to take him/her away from the person they were talking to.

"Love is never boastful or conceited." dunno abt it...(ppl u r most welcome to fill in)

"It is never rude or selfish." Well, in my opinion Love is the most selfish thing in the world. Is it not that when u love someone so dearly, you want your love to be reciprocated. Don't you wish that your love is returned and reciprocated with the same intensity.

"It does not take offense and is not resentful." Then, i ask, why do breakups happen ;)

(I kno this blog will make some ppl very angry, but can't help it... this is what i think!!)

If I cud fly...

wat wud you do if u had the ability to fly...

I wud soar to the sky and there wud be no runway required for it!! I'd fly away to the jungles in Peru... see the seven wonders of the world... try to be the arctic tern and see the arctic circle, on my way go to North Pole, to see the Aurora...enjoy the view there and then head back home to my jungle again... on my way going above the vast oceans, i wud devourer on the flying fish and play with the dolphins. Sometimes I'd travel alone and at time with my fellow arctic turns!! i wud go over new york, see the high rises and stay there overnight. At night, i wud soar to the sky to see the lights of the city... resembling the stars...then I'd head back, stopping at London, Egypt, Rome, Athens, etc etc... travel the whole world... Finally, I'd reach the forest, there I'd build a nest for myself somewhere in the middle of the tree, so that i get enuf sunlight and a gud view of the forest at the same time. There I'd spend my summers and then wen winters set in, start my journey again...

wat wud u do??